Lethal Weapon

Living in in the suburbs of Kansas City has taught me a few things about the rules of the road. Foremost, that here there really are very few rules that are actually observed. People ignore posted speed limits both for the maximum and minimum speeds. Turn signals and lanes of traffic; Who needs 'em? Signs cautioning drivers are disregarded like yesterdays bologna sandwich. How can anyone be expected to pay attention to all those signs and flashing lights when we are so busy talking, texting, typing addresses into our GPS', downloading apps to our iPhones, trying to find an HD station, putting in a DVD for the kiddos and eating a Big Mac? I've even seen people reading books and one guy practicing his trumpet. Suits driving Land Rovers, Lexus', Infinitis or some other luxury car brand, who assume that whatever it is they're doing is far more important than whatever everyone else is doing so therefore traffic should part before them like the Red Sea? Then, there's the Mom in the SUV who blows through a construction zone 15 mph over the posted speed limit while on her phone. I'm sure her kids are safer because they are strapped in the huge gas-sucking beast but how much therapy do you think the kids will need if they witness Mom mow down a construction worker?
We are driving what is potentialy a 2,000+ lb lethal weapon. Would we weild a gun around with such carelessness? No of course not because someone could get killed. So why the hell are we driving around like we haven't got the sense God gave us?

Parenting: The Old Fashion Way?

So, this was a post from a local news station's Facebook page:

Pledge of Allegiance dispute results in Md. teacher having to apologize - washingtonpost.com

and this was a comment from another fan:

"If only every school would enforce the "Pledge of Allegiance".... I remember having to say it every morning in the gym and if you were behaving badly you would get OSS. Kids now just have no respect....and it is our societys fault... Kids today are being treated as little adults.. rights and all. So different from when I was a kid. I was to be seen and not heard and that is the way I am raising my children."

What?! Really?! Has this person ever heard the phrase "You know better, you do better"? We didn't use to require child safety seats either. And how on Earth is a child going to learn what it really means to be an American and what the Bill of Rights IS if they are being "seen and not heard"? Lady, you want something cute to look at? Buy one of those kitten calendars or something. DO NOT run out and procreate because quite frankly, there are plenty of little robots running around. And what do you mean "...rights and all?" Children aren't people? Citizens? Worthy of civil liberties? So by that logic is would be perfectly acceptable to call a child a racial slur, as long as you didn't call the child's parent the same thing. Seriously! And how does promoting activism equal permissive parenting? I suppose Civil Rights activists and Women's Lib activists were just disrespectful brats as well. They didn't appreciate the soldiers that fought and died to protect their rights either? Oh wait, they didn't have any rights! And what good are rights if you're never allowed to exercise them?

Once again, overwhelming proof that not all people who can procreate, should. Kudos to the student's Mother who, it seems, is trying to raise a child who has critical thinking skills and for defending her child's rights.

Post- Christocalypse

Prior to the holiday season, I like to take a second job, usually in retail. Most people think this is insane due to the high volume of over caffeinated, stressed-out-from-keeping-up-with-the-Jones, can't-put-their-iPhones-down shoppers. They are usually so pre-occupied with the additional 5 lbs they have packed on, their maxed out credit cards and asking themselves why they are spending money on a spoiled nephew who they never see and who won't appreciate it, that they can't see anything past their own noses. There are a lot of those people but honestly, they shop all year round and are not a seasonal novelty. The majority of the sea of humanity that I see, are actually improved during the holiday season. They say "please" and "thank you" more, they offer to let someone with just a few things go ahead of them in line, and they understand that sales people are particularly overwhelmed and have just a little more patience with us. Then Christmas comes, with all the warm fuzzy feelings that the lights and glitter of the holiday can possibly give us and the mayhem seems worth it because the time with our families is priceless. However; when the lights come down and the glitter is swept into a neat 75% off corner, something happens. Suddenly, everyone's patience has been pushed beyond it's limit and they simultaneous snap like a giant rubber band. It's like a post-Christmas sale apocalypse. Usually mild mannered housewives, become soldiers of fortune armed with over-sized handbags and sharp tongues. They walk in the door, cell phone firmly attached to their face, sometimes with exhausted toddlers or husbands as POW's. Their warpaint is lipstick and mascara and their scowl can clear a room full of hardened criminals. They scream and rant over parking spaces, return policies (which are clearly printed on the back of most receipts), misplaced (usually by customers) and mismarked (usually by exhausted employees who don't get paid enough to care that much) sale items. True, it is the last sale of 2009 but there will be all new sales in 2010. All the same cheap crap they didn't really need this year, will go on sale next year. Trust me, there are little factories in China that are already mass producing the 'one-of-kind' (fill in the blank) that they missed the sale on this year.
So, before you stamp your feet and demand to speak to a manager, think about this "Is your life really going to be better if you have (again, fill it in), or are you just making yourself look like a giant ass?" Before you berade another sales person/waitress/customer support professional ask yourself "Will this ultimatley help me accomplish my goal or will this just give the waiter an excellent reason to spit in my food?"

First

I am the only female in the office where I work. In some ways this is a blessing, for instance, I don't have to share the bathroom with anyone. Sometimes however; it is not a blessing. Boys are, by nature messy creatures. It doesn't bother them in the least if the entire microwave is coated with a cooked on mixture of various soups, chili, hamburger helper and Chef Boyardie's finest culinary masterpieces. I found that I was the only one who cared about the condition of the microwave enough to clean it. I've had a similar problem at home, for which I found an excellent solution: one of those covers. I purchased one a brought it into the office only to find that the microwave was still getting splattered with what I sincerely hope was alfredo sauce. How can this be? They were putting the food ON TOP of the cover. I work with programmers, engineers and electronics techs. EPIC FAIL!

It's not exactly a book...

I find that I have an inordinate amount of time on my hands at work which means lots of time to think about the people, places and things that annoy the hell out of me. One day I posted "I'm going to write a book called "Dealing with Dillholes" on my Facebook wall and people I haven't heard from in years replied. Don't the wrong idea. I don't sit around and think about all the annoying things that happen to me all day long, I'm generally a pretty cheerful individual. But my Facebook post got me thinking, we as a society are so self-involved that we often forget ourselves and our manners. I've decided, as sort of a PSA, to blog about our absentmindedness (and other stuff), in hopes that through self examination we can all become just a little more conciencious (there may also be a chuckle or two, but only incidentally). I'd like to follow that up with a disclaimer: I, in no way think of myself as an expert on manners. I've caught myself on many occassions being very discourteous. All I'm saying is, on those occassions when I catch myself being a real B!%*$, or even when someone is bold enough to call me out on it, I'd like to think that the next time I find myself in a similiar circumstance, I handle it with a little more grace than the previous episode. So it isn't a book, and it'll never be a New York Times Best Seller, but here it is, Dealing with Dillholes.